Yesterday my dad was in a lot of pain. There was nothing any one of us could do for him except call Hospice which ultimately is a good move and order more morphine. But he’s at the stage where he just wants to be alone and I can hardly blame him. There are parts of this that are difficult. He has nothing more to report he tells me, as if our relationship is based on catching each other up on what is going on. When all that is going on is throwing up and being in pain and sleeping and hallucinating from the drugs I guess there is nothing to say. I don’t think it should be this way. There is something called simply being together. I suppose that hearing that you’ve got three to six months makes it difficult to want to be around other people, especially when a good half of that may very well involve living in misery, watching everything you’ve made dismantle.